


I can still see yesterday sailing away

by forehead



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blowjobs, Camping, M/M, School Reunion, Some angst, Train Rides, all the jobs, handjobs, lwwy setting, mid-twenties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 05:56:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3370364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forehead/pseuds/forehead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Standing in the middle of the room, turned away from, is a stark naked Harry Styles slipping into his pants. Louis has no idea what to do. Or he actually has no idea what he is capable of doing, seeing as the logical reaction to this would be to close the door and slip as far away as possible from Harry and his naked body. Louis eventually regains his motor skills and begins moving backwards. His foot somehow gets caught in thin air and he’s toppling down, arm flinging out to try to latch on to the first thing it can grasp. It happens to be the door knob, and then the door is toppling down with him. Everything is no longer fine.<i></i></i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i></i><br/><i>Set six years after Louis and Harry break up. The boys are roped into attending Hall Cross Academy's Class of 2011 school reunion.</i><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	I can still see yesterday sailing away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brainwaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainwaves/gifts).



> Whoooo!!!
> 
> Hi, I finished the fic. I got too many extensions and not enough excuses but I finished the fic. I got some lovely prompts and let me tell you, it was so hard to pick which one to do in the beginning. But I figured it out. Hopefully this isn't too shit, I know I've tweaked the prompt a bit more than was probably implied. But the changes are anything but subtle so you can clearly pinpoint them. 
> 
> Um, anyway, I guess happy winter? Enjoy this fic? Leave some kudos and other stuff?
> 
> Title from The Strokes' Red Light.

Louis is running late.  Now, before we get too far into the causes behind this certain situation maybe we should backtrack. Let’s say six years ago?

To one of those carefree, summer afternoons. You know the ones, where the air sits heavy in all the spaces it occupies. Where it’s much too bright, leaving you squinting whenever you look up. Where the sun is drenching everything in a lazy glaze of burnt yellow. And you could never feel more lighter on your feet. At least this is how Louis Tomlinson, age 17, felt.

He had spent the summer lounging around in the shade of his room. With fan whirring next to him, a curly haired boy beside him, and the muted sounds of the  Strokes playing in the background. He feels quite content on spending the rest of his days in this position if he could. For the outside world is much too hot, and humid, and gross for his body to be submerging itself in. He’s not being dramatic, even though Lottie always says he is, according to Dave the Weather Man it’s about 33C outside. Which is scorching if you didn't know.

Louis looks over at the boy laid out next to him. He’s lying flat on his stomach, head turned to one side. The sun’s gaze runs down his body, leaving a light sheen of sweat on the plains of his back, making him appear to be glowing. He looks as if he’s captured the sun but couldn't quite figure out how to conceal its blinding glow. Louis thinks that would make a good metaphor, except he wouldn’t know what it meant.

To put it into simple words, Louis Tomlinson is in love with Harry Styles. To put it into simple feelings, Louis Tomlinson has no idea what he’s doing.

 

He knows Harry is it for him, one look at his green eyes, at his beautiful demeanor, could tell you that. He doesn't know when it happened, how it happened, or why it did. One day he’s watching this boy, “Harry” he had said his name was, from the field at footie practice. The next, he's whispering promises and forever into his amber curls.

And honestly, it scares him. How easy it was to fall into it, and so fast he didn't even notice it happening. Of course it scares him, he’s seventeen for God’s sake. He’s “got his whole life ahead” and “needs to start thinking about his future”. Maybe if every future he imagines himself living didn’t include being with Harry this would all be easier. Because the situation is that Louis’ leaving for uni the following year and Harry’s not. The situation they've found themselves in is distance, and distance always kills. He has proof, Louis does. When every other weekend turned into once a month to next summer to only birthdays to phone calls. He knows what distance can do, and he doesn't want it to happen to him and Harry. Harry is everything, he’s the first breath in the morning and the last kiss at night. He wants the rest of his life to be with Harry, and he is not going to have a concept like distance ruin it. So, he’s just worried, that’s all.

“Hi”

Louis looks down to see Harry blinking away his afternoon nap from his eyes. He smiles down at him, pushing a stray strand away from his face and tucking it behind his ear.

And it starts again, just like it always does. The easy jump into what Harry is, the swooping of his stomach as he lets himself fall.

“Nice nap, love?” He cards his fingers through Harry’s curls, indulging in the way his boy nudges up into the touch.

“It was all right.” Harry reaches out a hand wraps it around Louis’ unoccupied one, intertwining their fingers like vines.

This is all right, Louis thinks.

And for the moment it was all they needed. The setting sun, the heavy air, the warm conjoined hands between them.

 _This is all right._    

Louis leans down for a blazing kiss, almost as bright as the sun itself.

 

**

 

But, where were we?

Louis. Running.

Right.

Now, to make it clear Louis did not sign up for this. 'This' being the ingenious idea that the Class of 2010 had. It all started in the beginning of winter of that year with an innocent email ending up in his inbox,

_Dear Hall Cross Academy graduates (and dropouts),_

_Perrie Edwards here! (AKA the girl who used to dye her hair every week.) The other day I realized it was the fourth anniversary of our legendary graduation, making next year the fifth. So, why not commemorate it by having a reunion, right? We were thinking like, a carnival, beach day, or camping trip. By ‘we’ I mean Jade Thirlwall, Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Jesy Nelson, and myself. So if you have any questions or ideas feel free to contact any of us._

_RSVP by May 1st._

_Forward this email to any other member of our class and send in your pick for the activity!_

_Love,_

_Perrie Edwards_

Louis intended on forgetting that email ever existed, that it was just part of a dream he'd had. Because, no. He can't go back to Doncaster. Even though he knows he won't be there, it’s a reunion for his class after all. But, and it’s irrational he knows, he can’t help feeling that if he returns he will just fall all over again.

So he let the message sit there opened and never replied to. And soon enough he forgot about it.

New Years came and went, Louis spent it at Zayn and Liam's party. Drinking and dancing his way through, head tipped back and eyes closed as the bodies around him screamed down from ten. His phone buzzed with a call from an unknown number at twelve, he didn't answer it.

It’s the middle of February when he received another email.

 

_Dear Hall Cross Academy graduates (and dropouts)..._

 

Louis doesn’t open it this time, doesn’t want to. He moves it out of his inbox and out of his mind.

Life picks up again after his small winter break, and Louis is moving through his routine week after week. It’s easy and it’s his, so he likes it. Likes getting up in the morning for his internship at the magazine company, and coming home to leftover take away. He likes it.

All thoughts of facing his past are long gone and stored away in the figurative attic of Louis’ mind.

That is until a sopping wet Liam Payne appears at his doorway.

“Well, this is romantic”

“Hello to you too, Louis.”

"Ooh, touchy."

"Please let me in."

 After he's let Liam use a towel and change into a more accommodating outfit, he settles them down onto the couch, warm mugs in hand.

The rain outside has subdued to muted drops of water hitting the window at intervals, it's still gray outside.

"So what brings you around here, Liam?"

Louis shifts on the cushions, stretching his legs out so the tops of his toes reach Liam's knee.

"Was having a jog, but it started pouring. Saw your building up ahead and thought 'hey I should go visit Louis, haven't done that in a while,'"

"It's been two days, but I get it. I'm irresistible." Louis expects to receive an eye roll at that, instead Liam shakes his head and turns so he's facing Louis.

"Zayn got a few emails the other day."

Louis' face falls, something inside him falls as well. He knows exactly where this is going, he knows what emails Liam is talking about.

"You should go,"

"No, no I really shouldn't." He's talking barely above a whisper, because he's scared and he just doesn't want to deal with this right now. Not now, or ever.

"Listen, I don't know what happened with you and that Harry guy but-"

"He's not 'that Harry guy', he's Harry." Louis hates himself.

"Alright, between you and Harry, but I really think you should do this. Zayn says-"

"Why isn't Zayn here then?"

"Louis." And he knows that too, why Zayn isn't here. Why Zayn can't be here saying things like "we can get the group back together!" or "I wonder who's gotten married."

Because Louis made him choose between two of the most important people to him. They've fought about it a million and one times. In the earlier days, when Zayn would have to go outside to answer four-hour long calls, they fought about it. Two years later, when they're both high as fuck and Louis was ranting out anger-induced lies, they fought about it. It's easier if they just don't talk about, it hurts them both too much. And Louis is tired of hurting.

He sees the flashes of guilt flood his friend's features whenever they come across someone with green eyes, or whenever someone mentions The Strokes. Louis always pretends not to notice, doesn't acknowledge the vacant space that will always be between them. And he'll tell Zayn to go, to find him again. But Zayn never leaves, and Louis never understands why.

"I think it'll be good for you, both of you."

Louis looks up from his shaking hands and into Liam's eyes. He sees all the cards laid out for him, right then. Liam's not just doing this for Zayn's sake, no. He wants Louis to be ok again too. And if Liam is asking him for this, maybe he should give it to him. Because Liam doesn't know the full story of what happened with Harry, Liam's just being a good friend. Louis knows how much he prides himself in that. A wave of sudden emotions toward Liam crash over him.

Which is why he agrees, and hugs Liam on his way out with a soft 'thank you'.

Two months later he sends in his RSVP. He feels something strange settle in his chest and goes out for lunch with Zayn the same day. They don't talk about it, obviously. But Zayn will bring it up when he thinks it's right, and to make it any stranger Louis feels okay with that.

And now we're here May 23rd and Louis is still running, and still late. He, Zayn, and Liam were supposed  to meet at the train station ten minutes ago, said train leaving in about five. He can see the platform number up ahead and wills his two years on the footie team not to fail him now.

He can only imagine what he looks like right now, sprinting through a crowded train station like a madman. Pushing past people as he mumbles 'sorry' and 'excuse me'.

Despite the current situation, he feels good about it though, the reunion. Even excited if he doesn't let himself think about it too much. Although, the fact that Liam is coming along is probably making him feel ten times more comfortable with it. Not that he has anything against Zayn, of course he doesn’t. It’s just. And he knows this is going to happen, ok he knows.

Once they reunite with their old friends, Zayn will be able to easily slip back into what they all were. It’s going to be so easy for him. But Louis, well he can't do that anymore.

Because after Louis left, he tried to cut everything from Doncaster off. He pushed away everything that reminded him of late summer afternoons. He forgot birthdays and “you better call me, you twat”.

It’s as he’s thinking these things that many other things happen: 1. his side is rammed into by an unknown source, 2. his bag goes skidding away from him, and 3. his feet get knocked straight from underneath him. Shocking a rather loud shout from him as he collides with cold concrete.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” There is a deep rumble above him. But Louis’ head is still spinning from being tackled,  so it takes him a minute to process what his afflictor just said. He thinks he must have gone down hard if the pain on the left side of his skull is anything to go by.

He can hear the person, who is still pinning him to the ground, let out a string of curses and variations of “I’m so sorry”.

“Ok thanks, can you get off me now”

This is not a prime for Louis. No, being almost killed in public would never be a prime for Louis, or anyone for that matter. There’s a small crowd forming around them, which makes this situation at least 30 times worse. And just like that, Louis’ mood plummets. His mood plummets just like he fucking did just two seconds ago when he got fucking assaulted at a fucking train station.   

Fuck.

He feels the person freeze, but then they're scrambling off.

With a groan, Louis rolls over and rubs his hands over his face, checking for any signs of blood or damage. He comes up clear so that’s good. The crowd disperses after they realize no one is actually hurt. And that there probably won't be a news story done on it, leaving Louis with just his attacker.

He means to just shrug it off and then leave, maybe assure the person that he’s fine. They sounded genuinely worried.

But, god, when he looks up the words die in his throat. His mouth snaps shut and he’s staring straight ahead, frozen. He must have hit his head hard because what he is seeing right now, it’s not possible.

In front of him, sitting on his haunches, is Harry Styles.

Harry Styles looking straight back at him wide-eyed and mouth slack, like he's seeing a ghost. Louis guesses that would be pretty accurate.

He also guesses that this must be what sinking feels like, the part that comes after drowning. After your lungs fill to the brim with water, after you're dead. And, right now it feels like Louis’ lungs are filled with water because he’s not breathing.

Why Louis didn't major in something that requires dumb metaphors and tacky lines, he does not know.

He looks- well, he looks completely different. His hair's grown out past his shoulders, taller leaner stature, and tattoos littering what is visible of his skin. Everything screams out that this is not the same Harry. But also, it is? Because his hair is still curly, and his eyes still green.

"Hi, Lou" his voice has gotten twenty octaves deeper, and Louis can't do this right now.

"Hi."

Jesus, he needs to go, he needs to go catch his train. Louis just. He needs to go.

He looks around searching for his bag which has skidded about ten feet away from them. He can feel Harry's burning gaze on him, like he can't believe Louis's actually here.

Well, that makes two of them.

"Hey, uh I need to catch a train...It was-" Louis cringes "-good to see you, erm Harry"

This was not how Louis pictured his reunion with Harry going. Not at all.

Everything feels so surreal and hazy, like it's happening in a dream sequence instead of real life.

Maybe it's the fact that Louis hasn't processed the fact that Harry fucking Styles is right in front of him, or maybe it's because he's running late. But the next thing he knows he's standing up, reaching for his bag, giving Harry a small wave and hurriedly walking away.

"Louis wait-"

And maybe Louis really is heartless, as he keeps walking, blames it on the thirteen foot distance he's put between them.

Glad to know nothing's changed, then.

He just needs to catch this train, okay.

About five feet from the platform he can see Zayn and Liam reclined against a wall, when Louis feels a hand on his arm.

He turns around with the full intention of telling Harry to leave him alone.

His throat closes up though, and he lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. Harry's standing closer than Louis calculated. So close that Louis can smell the familiar scent of vanilla and Harry , can see the golden specks lined up along his irises.

Louis wants to pull his arm away, push Harry away, and tell him he's not allowed to do this. But he doesn't.

He meets Harry's eyes and sees this tired emotion that is all too familiar. They are standing in the middle of a train station looking into each other’s eyes like long lost lovers. Louis feel a little then more annoyed, yet he can't bring himself to look away. The tightness in his chest doesn't feel suffocating anymore, instead he just feels numb. Numb and too drained to even react to having Harry in front of him after five years.

"I really need to catch a train, mate. So if you can please let go of my arm that woul-"

"Harry?" It's Zayn. Louis hears running footsteps behind him and then Zayn is jumping into his line of vision, throwing himself at Harry.

Great.

He whips his head to find Liam, only to see he's already looking at him.

Is that...? Liam mouths. Louis gives him a short nod.

Louis' senses seem to come back to him at that moment and he wonders if everyone can hear the heavy pounding of his heart.

Zayn is in the process of ruffling Harry's off to the side, Harry laughing as he tries to pry Zayn's hands out of his hair. When he finally does he just wraps his long arms around Zayn's frame and burrows into his shoulder.

Louis hears 'I missed you' and 'where did all this hair come from'.

He wants to throw up.

Liam watches them carefully, a small smile forming when Zayn throws his head back laughing at something Harry said. Louis turns to him panicked, why the fuck is no one realizing that he is currently having a mental breakdown?

Liam’s eyes widen a bit, "Breathe, Lou."

Zayn and Harry turn at that. Louis might want to punch Liam.

Just fuck this. Fuck the train (that they've probably  missed). Fuck the reunion, and Perrie Edward's 'Dear Hall Cross Academy graduates (and dropouts) blah blah blah'.

 

But most of all fuck Harry Styles.

 

**

So Harry is now going on this god forsaken camping trip with them. Even though, A) he did not graduate from Hall Cross Academy in 2010 B) he is not even packed for a camping trip and C) he did not graduate from Hall Cross Academy in 2010.

Neither did Liam, but he’s going as a 'plus 1' so that doesn't count.

The ridiculous decision went something like,

“So, where are you guys off to?”

“Camping trip for a school reunion”

“Oh yeah I heard about that. That’s great, I’ll come with.”

“What...”

“Sure!”

The last part was Zayn cutting Louis off, rather rudely if you ask him.

Zayn didn't even blink when Louis shot him one of his  panicked looks, he just smiled up at Harry, nodding fervently. Like Louis didn't even exist.

Harry miraculously found a ticket five minutes before the actual train was about to leave. It’s like the universe is actively trying to ruin Louis’ life.

Upon entering the train, Louis merely plopped down in the closest window seat and popped his headphones in. He felt the other three share looks and then a sympathetic Liam was slipping in next to him with a small pat to his knee. The whole train station fiasco had left his mind muddled with emotional and physical exhaustion. Now he just wants to get the weekend over with so he can return to his simple, drama-free life. Please and thank you.

Thirty minutes of a tension filled train ride is enough time for Louis to begin digesting everything that has just happened. So, Harry is back and Zayn and Liam are being assholes about it and he hates them. Ok maybe he doesn’t exactly hate them, but it’s obvious that at least Zayn’s acting really weird about it. He’s acting like five years have not gone by at all, like they’re right where they left off. All it does is make Louis feel unsettled and his head hurt. He’s just confused and overwhelmed. Because Harry is here, he’s actually here.

Louis doesn’t know how to act around him anymore, he can't just pretend like what happened didn't. Which is exactly what Harry is doing right now, Zayn playing along.

Louis's not going to say he feels attacked, but he feels attacked.

He gets that Harry might have tagged along to spend some time with Zayn. And Louis won't deny Zayn of that, neither of them to be honest, he's not a jerk. But fucking Christ, did it have to be now? Why did Harry decide now was a perfect time to waltz back into Louis' life?

Whatever tricks fate was playing at, Louis wanted no part. Now he just needed to get through this weekend and he'll be fine again. Just this weekend.

 

**

 

They reach the campsite around lunchtime. It's nothing too grand, one of those economy campsites that attracts small families and elderly couples. But Louis was told they'd have cabins, so he guesses it can't be that bad.

There's a wooden awning up ahead acting as the entrance into the campsite, next to it a sign sits reading "Welcome Hall Cross Academy's Class of 2010!"

There are balloons tied to the sign, and for some reason just the sight of the batch balloons makes the situation seem more real. So Louis slows down, waits until Harry, Zayn, and Liam are further up ahead. The latter of the two don't even notice, too absorbed in telling Harry some story that happened in the last five years. Louis should be right there with them, except he would probably just end up shoving the last five years in Harry's face.

And, that wouldn't be cool. He swears up and down that he is not a jerk. It's just all these frustrated emotions he can't seem to untangle that are making the want to lash out at someone itch under his skin. Defense mechanisms and all that.

Louis sighs. His earlier worries, about not being embraced back into the tight knit circle of friends they had, flood back through him.

"Louis, c'mon!" It's Zayn who calls out to him.

Surprised Zayn still remembers his name at this point, Louis does as he's told sick of wallowing in his self-pity. He doesn't even flinch when he's pulled in to stand between Harry and Zayn, he does twist Zayn's nipple when he tries to awkwardly side hug him while they walk. He's allowed to spend hours weighed down by self-pity, but no one else is allowed to lay their pity onto his shoulders. He's too proud, he knows.

Because he seems to hate himself, Louis chances a fleeting glance up at Harry on his left. Harry looks down, yes he has to fucking look down, sensing Louis' gaze. Before he even decides to, Louis quickly looks away and stares straight ahead. He does not acknowledge the accelerated beating of his heart or the feeling of flames licking at his cheeks. He also pretends not to notice Harry smirking next to him.

Harry abruptly reaches over Louis to tap Zayn’s arm, when he pulls back his fingers skim over Louis’ shoulder. It’s too careful not to be on purpose. He resists the urge to roll his eyes and turns so he’s blocking Harry from the group. It’s a shitty move and he knows Harry’s pouting at him.

Louis may or may not want to tear his own hair out.

“Isn’t that Perrie Edwards up there?” Harry’s tone is all casual innocence. Louis can see right through it though, knows where this is going. He’s not sure whether to put a stop to it or not.

Sure enough, next to the awning is standing Perrie Edwards. She looks mostly the same, her hair is cropped short and a sunny blonde shade instead of the bright colors she used in school.

“Yeah she’s organizing this whole thing,” Zayn, oblivious as always, replies.

Harry hums, casual, innocent. And then grins at the same time Zayn catches on, eyes widening and mouth opening ready to retort.

“Liam, did you know your little Zaynie here-”  

“Oh God”

“-used to date Perrie in year ten?”

Louis purses his lips, he’s not going to laugh, or smile, or even show a trace of any emotion he is feeling right now. Nope, he is not going to encourage Harry.

Harry shushes Zayn’s groan with a gesture as he watches Liam’s expression. Louis’s face breaks into an involuntary smile, he coughs to cover it up. But he can hear Harry chuckling practically into his ear, like they’re sharing an inside joke together. Which they are not.

“Aw, did he now…” there’s nothing but fondness in Liam’s voice, it’s disgusting, “that’s cute.” He bumps his shoulders against Zayn’s who is rolling his eyes.

They’re interrupted by a loud gasp and then, “Zayn Malik is that you?”

“Oh, here comes Pezza” Zayn gives Harry an unimpressed look at the mention of the nickname. And it’s not even that funny, it’s literally so dumb, but Louis lets out a ghost of a laugh and before he can even think about it he’s saying,

“Let him live, Harry.”

He sees Harry falter out of the corner of his eye, and it feel like years until Harry is letting out a small giggle next to him. Louis blinks, shocked, yet unable to stop the smallest of smiles from gracing his features.  

Ok then.

“This is Liam, my fiancé.”

Louis turns back to just in time to witness Perrie’s eyes widening and jaw dropping slightly. “Oh.”

“Nice to meet you, Perrie.” Liam, smooth as ever, grabs one of her hands and shakes it. He can’t see well from this angle but Louis knows Liam is smirking.

He can't help it then, he turns to Harry to gauge his reaction and then they're both laughing like school kids pulling a prank. Watching Harry like this, seeing the tilt of his lips and the crinkles that crease by his eyes, Louis feels a tug pulling at his chest. It’s all so familiar and Louis has no idea what is happening. Like someone flipped a switch between them that caused Louis to go from denying Harry to wanting to share moments with him again. It's- weird.

Off in the distance there is a loud, warrior-like shout and the next thing Louis knows he’s tackled to the ground with an _oof_. Louis kinda hopes this doesn't become a trend.

“Louis fucking Tomlinson is that you?” His sense flood with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a loud cackle. Must be Niall then.

“Niall Horan did your mother ever teach you that tackling people to ground is impolite, get off of me.”  Louis huffs feeling the grass dig into his back.

“I haven’t seen you in 200 years and this is how you greet me?” Niall complies and rolls off of Louis anyway, “bit rude don’t you think?”

Niall. Loud, obnoxious, the little brother he never had growing up, Niall. They met on a footie team when Louis was only six and Niall was four and had recently moved from Ireland. Louis thought he talked funny but since he laughed at Louis’ antics he took him under his wing, introduced him to all his other friends. His other friends included his new neighbors Harry and Gemma.

They had kept in touch after Louis left to London, and Niall went out to follow his own path. Which consisted of backpacking through South America and becoming some fancy nature photogrpaher.

They tell each other they missed one another and Louis teases Niall about his hair like he always does. And it’s so normal and easy, Louis loves Niall a lot.

After Niall’s squeezed the living daylights out of Louis once more he turns and proceeds to do the exact same thing to Harry. Because Harry was- is most likely still- a part of Niall’s life as much as Louis is. And it’s Niall, _c'mon_.

"Shouldn't you be taking pictures of birds with penis shaped feathers or something?” Louis asks, amusement glinting in his eyes.

“You know what, I don't appreciate you degrading my professional profession like that, Louis. I'll have you kno-”

“That you're an absolute idiot?”

“Learned from the best.”

Falling back into the motions with Niall is like a blanket of comfort wrapping over him. The realization of how much he's missed the irish man washes over him. But Louis doesn't deem it a good time to get sentimental.

They finish catching up and Niall doesn't mention the situation between Louis and Harry, it’s fine. It’s great. Zayn and Liam join them shortly and Niall’s greeting Zayn with the same raw emotion. They finally decide to step into the campsite. It's about three feet in when Louis feels a wave of nausea wash over him.

There are so many people milling about, talking, reconciling. It’s too much. The wave turns into a tsunami when Louis sees a few familiar faces. He tenses but wills himself to keep going, walking behind Zayn hoping that if he can’t see them they won’t see him. He’s pathetic, he knows.

There’s music playing through speakers somewhere to the left. The current song finishes and then the opening chords of Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys are blasting.

The next few moments seem to happen specifically so Louis is walking in the middle, Zayn and Liam on one side, Niall and Harry on the other. The crowd of ex-students even parts allowing the five boys to walk through. Louis confused, turns to Zayn, but he’s looking forward a smolder taking over his face. Louis hasn't witnessed The Smolder since they were at school, maybe before he met Liam at the latest.

He spots Liam’s expression, which is just as confused. He opens his mouth like he wants to question why they are currently strutting through a crowd of mid-twenty year olds. Louis would not have an answer if Liam did ask. The minute he turns away from Liam’s conflicted face he feels something skim his hand. ‘Something’ being Harry’s hand. Well.

He tracks the movement with his eyes before dragging them up to meet Harry’s. The look in his eyes is so soft, so reassuring, and Louis feels some weight lift off his shoulders. The look in his eyes is also fleeting and it's gone before Louis can even react, he ends up just shifting his gaze towards Niall. He's grinning, as per usual.

So apparently his friends (and Harry.) have decided that it's the perfect time to walk through an on looking crowd and pretend to be in a boyband. Alright then.

He looks in the direction they're heading towards, the large campfire where a huddle of twenty year olds have gathered. Louis recognizes about 98% of the faces. Great, he thinks as he almost trips on a tree root.

He has no fucking clue what is happening right now. All he can think about is why the hell Zayn's strutting like he's on a fucking catwalk.

“Hi Zayn!” A group of girls call from the side, a nod is all they get in response. Louis watches Liam shuffle a bit closer to Zayn. Louis narrows his eyes at the glint in Zayn's eyes. He knows exactly what's going on. Leave it to Zayn to turn their entire class into a pile of mush because he went and got all fit.    

“Horan!” A huddle of guys, all with red cups in their hands, shout in unison as they pass by. Niall points and gives them one of his signature grins.

The whole thing is absolutely ridiculous, Louis is pretty sure he heard some gasps as they walked past.

And of course, the song ends just as they reach the campfire, switching to something softer. People go back to talking and reminiscing.

Louis, too caught up in questioning the universe why he just strutted through a campsite, doesn't notice the gaze of everyone around the campfire set on him. He does realize the lull in the previously loud chatter. He looks up, and the first thing he lays eyes on is Zayn. Where the hell did he find sunglasses?

The second thing he lays eyes on is the circle of people staring right at him.

Just like he guessed it, everyone most likely doesn't want him to be back. Because he forgot about them, and he did not even try to keep in touch, and they all hate him now. It is all his fault, he's the one who pushed and pushed until he got left alone. He ruined it for himself.

There's a pregnant pause and Louis sweeps his eyes across the rather large group. Louis is getting ready to turn away, maybe go sit in a corner with a nice cold beer in hand and wallow by himself. The only thing they all hear is the quiet crackle of the flames until,

"Tommo's back!"

With that the silence is broken and cheers and shouts ring through the circle. Next thing he knows, Louis is  swarmed by a dozen familiar faces all at once.

After that it's "how've you been?" and "It's so good to see you again!”.

Overwhelmed is an understatement to how Louis feels right now. He never in a million years believed he would be this well received. He was pretty sure they'd all forgotten who he was, or that he was just a sour spot in their memory. He definitely doesn't deserve this. These smiles and hugs and just general kindness.

He catches Zayn's eye and he's grinning at him. It flushes warmth through Louis' body and he can't stop from grinning back. It’s so nice seeing his best friend like this, and Louis feels a little bad about dragging him to London in the first place. Well, technically he didn’t drag him. Zayn chose to go with him.

And as it turns out nobody hates him, he does get a few joking "where did you disappear to?"s, but other than that it's fine. They spend the rest of the afternoon talking, drinking, and eating. All the worry he had thrown out and forgotten about. So to put it frankly, Louis is having a good time. A great time.

Harry seemed to be enjoying himself as well, slipping into conversations as easily as he did when he was just 15 and invited to hang out with the older kids. Nobody  mentions it, him and Harry, they all know what happened anyway. Hard to miss when you live in a small town.  
 

Afternoon soon turns into night. The half crescent of the moon providing the only light along with the fairy lights and still burning fire. Louis feels exhaustion deep in his bones, it's been a pretty long day. And after a mosquito bite too many, he decides to check out the cabin they've been assigned to.

He’s walking up the porch steps alone, because the rest of the boys were still catching up. It’s fine though, Louis feels like getting away from the crowd for a bit.

“Hey”

Louis almost trips on the last step. Harry.

He regains his balance and takes a deep breath, turning around. “Hi”

“Sorry...again.” Harry bounds up the steps reaching out for him. “I keep doing that, don’t I?”

Louis tenses at the hand Harry places gingerly on his arm. He really needs to stop reacting to Harry like this.

“It’s fine. Did you- did you need anything?” Louis sees that look in his eyes again, he swallows around the small lump in his throat.

“No, just thought you'd want some company,” Harry smiles at him. And it’s so earnest Louis feels his chest tighten.

“Um, sure. I mean I just wanted to check out these cabins. Make sure there’s no termites, you know?” Lame. God he’s so lame.

Harry’s laugh passes through him in a warm wave of something. Something treading the edges of familiarity. Louis blinks and goes to unlock the door, Harry following behind him. And God, the simple act of unlocking a door should not be bring back all these memories. He shakes his head and pushes the door open.

It’s nothing special. Has the cabin-y aura to it, wooden furniture, fireplace, animal heads on the wall. Louis walks in setting his bag down, the motion of it making a bittersweet feeling bloom in his stomach. Harry walks around him and runs his hand along a wooden table placed near the door. He then decides it’s important to go into a spiel about wood.

Louis watches him thoughtfully, listens to the way his voice still drags out like it used to. He’s talking about mahogany and termites when Louis interrupts him.

“You know I wasn't really worried about termites.”

Harry’s mouth clamps shut at that, and then he’s

chuckling under his breath.

“I know I was just,” He looks up at Louis from under his fringe. Louis swallows and something ugly crawls up his throat. Before he can even identify the feeling, it's swooping low in his stomach and causing hot flashes of- of anger to settle in his veins.

Much too late, Louis realizes he does not want to hear an answer to the question that bursts out of him.

“Why did you come here Harry?” Louis practically spits it at him, narrowed eyes, and an unattractive scowl gracing his features.

Harry falters for a moment and then gives a drawn out sigh running a hand through his hair.

“I wanted to see everyone. Zayn he, uh-" Harry shifts his gaze towards Louis, "I wanted to see you.”

Louis feels the unnecessary anger seep out of him as he exhales. He deflates at that, the tugging in his chest gets stronger.

But wait, Zayn? What did he have anything to do with....

Oh.

“Did Zayn invite you?” Louis knows he’s right. It would explain everything. How Zayn and Liam were acting so weird at the train station, like nothing was happening. Like it wasn't a big deal that Louis was seeing Harry again after six whole years.

“Yes? Are you mad at him?”

“Why would I be mad?” Louis has no right to be mad, after all. Sure, he would have liked a heads up like, “hey Louis, your boyfriend from school is going to join us at the reunion. hope that doesn't send you into a spiral of confusion and panic aha”, from Zayn or something. But he’s not mad.

“I don’t know I wasn't sure if you’d want to see me. Because we left things so...not nicely last time. And Zayn just wanted to help, really-”

“Harry.” Harry looks up at him wide-eyed and pink cheeked. Louis wants to kiss him. He mentally slaps himself a few times before letting his lips quirk up in a small, tentative smile. It's worth it for the way Harry visibly relaxes, and returns it.

“I’m not mad, and I'm glad you're here.” He means it. Harry’s right, they did leave things “not nicely.” And sure, it's not like Louis believes that they'll be able to patch things up to how they were before Louis went and fucked it all up. But, maybe this whole weekend will be good for them, you know, closure and all that.

**

_"You’re acting really immature right now, Harry.”_

_Harry just crosses his arms and looks away, eyebrows furrowing further. He could give any petulant toddler a run for their money, honestly._

_“You’re wrong. I’m not the immature one here, you are. Because you’re running again, Louis.” When he looks up his eyes are glistening. Louis wants to take it back. Everything, his words, his actions._

_“Why can’t I come to London with you?” It’s a question Louis has been asked about a dozen times for the last two days. Two days which have been full of talking and reasoning, it feels more like fighting than anything though. And now Louis is off tomorrow, back to London._

_He’s come home for Christmas and he was supposed to stay until New Years, but due to recent events he doesn't think it’s best to stay. He’s made up his mind after all._

_“Harry I already-”_

_“told me. I know but-” Harry looks down again, his face unreadable when he continues. “It’s not that you just think I have a good opportunity in Bristol”_

_His words drip in accusation as he spits them back at Louis. Louis feels unsettlement sink to the pit of his stomach._

_“Or that- that I’d be better off there, without you. It's that you don’t want me to go to London with you, isn't it?”_

_And, Louis’ heart hurts as he blinks away the burning feeling in his eyes, Because Harry couldn’t be any farther from the truth. Yes Louis does think most those things, because Harry would be better off at Bristol. He doesn’t deserve the life Louis is currently living. With his dingy flat and two months of rent piling up, and no job to pay it off or for anything in general. He’s hardly getting through his classes, quite close to dropping out before the break if it wasn't for Zayn._

_“No Harry, of course I want you to come. And you will, after you getting your schooling done. Babe, you got into one of the best schools ,” Louis sighs, feeling so hopeless. “I can’t let you pass it up.”_

_He knows the separation has been hard for both of them, being attached at the hip since the ages five and three can do that to you. Distance can do that to you._

_The rest of the conversation goes more or so like that, and Louis can see it’s wearing Harry down. Eventually he snaps, and the whole world falls apart with them. There’s crying, and comforting. But then there are deep breaths, and whispers of “maybe we should take a break” followed by, “only until I finish school”. And Louis’ heart is shattering into a million shards by his feet as he gives a watery nod. This is what distance does, he should have expected it._

_And when he’s walking out of the room later, as the night slowly welcomes morning, he gives the sleeping boy one more hopeful glance._

_Louis was back in London before Harry even woke up. He spent the last days of the year holed up in his flat, not even with Zayn to keep him company. He refused to think about Harry, or acknowledge that it might have been the last time he ever saw him. Hopefully it wouldn't be, but he's not the one who gets to decide that._

_On the 31st he receives a bunch of invites to New Year parties. Half of them are from people in Donny, who probably haven't realized he’s gone yet. Only one in particular stands out. It's from a guy in his English literature class, Greg. Might as well, he thinks._

_He stands from his wallowing misery and hours later he's finding himself in the middle of a screaming crowd._

_10...9...8...7....6._

_He can't remember how many drinks he's had or where Zayn went off to. All he can feel is the thrumming of the music and the cheerful shouts of the people around him._

_5...4....3. Louis tips his head back reveling in the warm bodies and laughter that surround him._

_2...1! Happy New Year!_

_He feels a buzzing in his left pocket and upon inspect sees it's Harry calling. He suddenly feels very sober, but not sober enough to answer the call. He can't risk saying something to Harry over the phone that might make the younger boy show up on his doorstep. So he pockets the phone again and promises himself he'll call first thing tomorrow._

_**_

 

Louis wakes up to being too warm and what feels like twelve knots in his neck. The room is still dark and he shifts turning his head on his pillow. Or at least what feels like a pillow.

Last night after their conversation the rest of the boys had barged in with plates of pizza. Which was the dinner Perrie and them had so graciously provided claiming, “we’re not full adults yet we can still live off pizza. deal with it.” Louis isn't the type to complain when it comes down to pizza, though.

Anyway, Niall had brought his laptop that had a bunch of movies saved so they ended up all huddled in one of the rooms watching The Avengers. Liam and Zayn settled themselves on one of the twin sized beds, and Niall, Harry, and Louis on the floor in front of it. They set up the comforter from the other bed on the floor and built a makeshift bed for the three of them. It felt like a normal movie night with his friends, something that was a usual occurrence back when Louis was still in school.

Even with Liam as a new addition their dynamic seemed to sink into what it used to be. Even with Liam adding his own touch of Liamness made it somewhat better.

During the middle of the film Louis began to feel his eyes droop, the exhaustion of the day still sitting heavy on his shoulders. He’s not quite sure when, but he must have fallen asleep, still on the floor using his jacket as a pillow. Which probably explains the stiffness he feels in his shoulders and neck.

He cracks an eyes open and is immediately assaulted by a brown, hairy(?) mess of something, something Louis seems to have his face buried in. He blinks a few time and leans backwards a bit. And. Of course.

It would explain the warmth Louis felt radiating onto his left side, and the strong scent of vanilla and tangy musk. And, of course Louis would wake up spooning Harry while subconsciously sniffing his hair. The boy in mention stays sound asleep, curling in on himself yet  leaning into Louis’ space all the same. Which, yeah. Louis has an arm wrapped around Harry’s middle resting on the jut of his hip and his legs seem tangled up with Harry’s.

If Louis didn’t feel so warm and comfortable he would be jumping away from the position. But he’s just so _warm_ and _comfortable_. He swallows the bile of nostalgia down. He gives into it and ends up snuggling into the caressing warmth he finds in the juncture between Harry’s shoulder and neck.

Louis doesn’t even remember falling asleep in this position. Last thing he even remembers of the night is watching Thor and Loki fight like the petulant brothers they are. After that he must have drifted off into a deep exhaustion induced slumber. But, he’s pretty sure Niall had been sitting between them. So the idea of Louis and Harry ending up in this position subconsciously is just ridiculous. Except. He does remember, now that he thinks of it, one of the boys (most likely Zayn) urging him to get on the bed. And Louis waving him off saying in a half-awake, half-asleep tone that’s he would just sleep on the floor with- with Harry. Right then.

Maybe he should move away before Harry wakes up. Who knows what he said to Harry in his sleep deprived state that he allowed them to end up situated like this. He’s about to untangle his legs from Harry’s when a loud snore breaks through the morning quietness of the room. Louis jumps so violently he ends up slapping Harry’s hip. Which only causes Harry to snap his eyes open and then freeze up upon realizing the position he’s currently in.

Harry rubs at his eyes and turns his neck at an angle so he can look at Louis’ face. His eyebrows furrow in confusion and he slowly blinks up at him. Louis should be moving away by now, but he’s floored by how adorable Harry looks.

“Hi,” Louis gives him a tentative smile. The hand still resting on Harry’s hip feels like it’s burning with the intensity of Louis hoping Harry doesn’t notice.

“Good morning” Harry responds. And shit, Louis forgot how rough and deep Harry’s morning voice was. Louis may or may not want to scream into a pillow, except he doesn't have a pillow, because he slept on the floor.

They stare at each other for a few beats. Louis’ eyes wander down to Harry’s pink, plump, very inviting lips. And he just wants, so much, to lean down and capture them between his own. The seconds tick by slowly and so heated. Louis is a minute from following through when another earth shattering snore rings through the room. This time both Louis and Harry jump, moving away from each other in the process. The only parts of them touching end up being just their feet. Louis frowns, wants to crowd back into Harry’s warmth. But, he can’t.

Just like he could not have kissed Harry, even if he really wanted to. Because he’s not allowed to do that anymore. Louis feels as if he’s been sinking into this self-deprecating guilt since Harry tackled him down at the train station.

With a sigh Louis flops back down, his jacket doing nothing to cushion the fall, and stretches his arms over his head. He grabs the closest thing next to him, which happens to be a shoe, and throws it at Niall, who’s presumably the one causing the snoring. His aim is completely off and the shoe lands completely on the other side of the second twin-sized bed instead of on it. Niall seemed to be the smarter of the three and decided to sleep on the bed, instead of the carpeted, uncomfortable floor. Louis hears Harry softly chuckle at his attempt, and finds he’s not that annoyed at Niall after all.

Later, once the rest of the boys have woken up, Louis   dodges any questions asked about why Louis was still wrapped around Harry. He simply moves away with an awkward cough and that's that.

The five of them walk down to the general meeting area of the campsite. Once again Louis finds himself rolling his eyes at the v-formation they seem to form whenever they walk in a group. They’re not in a _boyband_ , for god’s sake.

The morning goes on with more reuniting and everyone settling back into how they were six years ago. It feels like school. Except, what kind of school has a school reunion in the woods? It’s not like their class was any bigger than eighty-something or so people, so.

Then, Perrie is gathering everyone’s attention, standing on a platform with a clipboard in hand.

“Alright guys, we only have this place for five hours. Meaning you’ve got to get your asses out of here by four o’clock sharp. But in the mean time we’ve got a bunch of stuff for you to do, so enjoy! Also no littering, smoking, or _pissing_ on the grounds, keep the alcohol to a responsible level please we…”

Louis tunes the rest of it out, choosing instead to turn his gaze towards Harry. Who is talking, quite animatedly, to Ed Sheeran.

It’s not that he’s jealous, no. Why would he be? And anyway, last he heard of Ed was that he was very much married to his music, which, good for him. Why would Louis be jealous about Harry?

“Hello boys,” he walks up to them anyway. Smooth, easy, the epitome of cool.

Ed responds with a casual nod and friendly smile. “Hey Louis, you alright?”

Right. Louis can’t remember the last time he had a conversation with Ed before he left, or actually before that too. He supposes it’s because they didn’t run in the same social circles. Louis kind of feels like a knob now. He just interrupted a conversation between two obvious good friends for absolutely no reason at all. Or, well.

Contrasting obviously to Ed’s casual nonchalance, Harry seems to have stopped breathing. He’s sort of just gone into shock, it seems, maybe due to the fact that Louis is willingly acknowledging his existence? Louis gives him a weak smile and tries not to remember that his dick was nestled between his asscheeks less than forty minutes ago.

Somehow Harry and Ed welcome Louis into their conversation instead of laughing at his subtle (desperate) attempts to be near Harry. Which was the worst case scenario that played through Louis’ head as he made the decision to walk over to them in the first place. But, he’s not going to make it a thing. Being Near Harry isn’t going to be habit of his.  

Louis can feel Zayn's gaze burning in the back of his neck. He mentally rolls his eyes. It's not like it's a bad thing that he's trying to have a civil conversation with Harry. And Ed. It is a completely normal thing for lads to do, especially those who were once really good pals. Really, really good pals.

The look on Zayn's face is probably all smug. Or thoughtful. Or both smug and thoughtful, with a bit of that smoulder since it seems to always be plastered on his face as of late. Louis wants to turn around and shout at him to mind his own damn business and go back to parading Liam around.

They're shooting banter back and forth and it feels like second nature. It’s like muscle memory how Louis will raise his eyebrows here and there with a quickfire response to the leaden stories being told. And Harry will glint his eyes (down) at him and bite his lip to tame the grin threatening to split his face in half. Louis recognizes that look. It knocks his breathing off all over the place and he tries to ignore the flush rising to his face. He feels a little sorry for Ed.

Fortunately for him though, Niall comes bounding up to them and saves him from Louis and Harry’s horribly concealed flirting. He does so with a declaration that Louis must be on his team, “whether he likes it or not”, in the impromptu football game about to start in the clearing near by.

Harry immediately volunteers to be on the team as well. To which Niall groans at but agrees to when Louis kicks him in the shin hard.

**

“Just jump in, you idiot!”

“Fuck you, Horan. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t even be in this predicament!”

“Shove your _predicament_ up my ass and jump in already.”

Louis bites back his, “wouldn’t you like that,” choosing instead to simply roll his eyes and adjust his grip on the rope.

After losing rather horribly to the opposing team, all Niall’s fault if you ask Louis, Liam ordered Louis, Niall, and Harry  to jump into the lake as penalty for losing that terribly. Which, who the hell died and put Liam Payne in charge? Whatever Louis was not going to step down from a challenge. Even though yes technically he should have jumped into the water by now instead of clinging onto the rope for as long as he has.  

In the midst of the back and forth Louis and Niall have going on, Harry decides to strip himself of his shirt and swiftly dives into the lake. It all happens so fast Louis doesn’t even notice it until a sopping wet Harry Styles is popping his head out of the water beneath him.

“C’mon Lou, the water’s great!” Louis blinks down at him. Harry’s hair is falling limply on his face and he’s swiping away the droplets of water that run down his face, and neck, and shoulders. His very broad, muscular shoulders.

“That doesn’t count, Harry. You were supposed to jump from the rope,” Liam’s voice rings out across the shore. Harry submerges his head and surfaces only to spit lake water in Liam’s direction. That is probably very unhealthy and kinda gross. It should not be endearing, Louis should not find that endearing. Harry then seems to take on the characteristics of an otter as he dips backwards and begins to float, hands behind his head, on his back. Louis internally screams and flails as the rest of Harry’s, dripping, chest and torso come into view. God, and there are the _tattoos_ again, is that a fucking butterfly what the fuck?

Who knows how hard he was staring at Harry’s glistening chest, but it must have been pretty hard. ‘Cause the last thing he hears is Niall’s laugh before he’s dropping into the body of water beneath him. The cold as fuck body of water beneath him. So no, no Harry, the water is not fucking great.

After the initial shock of falling into a lake subsides, Louis decides it would most likely be in his best interest to swim back to the surface. Or maybe not. Because there is a still wet, still glistening Harry looming over him once he’s got his head and most of his shoulders above the water level.

“Hi”

“Hi,” Louis pushes the wet fringe off his forehead and squints up at Harry. Until he realizes he doesn’t need to squint, because Harry took upon himself to become a human shade and the sun sits conveniently behind Harry’s head. Which helps, but not really. Because, now it looks like a halo surrounds the crown of Harry’s head where the sun’s rays peek through. The image of Harry as an angel really shouldn’t feel this accurate, especially not with the serene expression that graces the boy in mention’s face. Louis sighs and feels himself drowning (not literally) into the color of Harry’s eyes and the slippery touch of rocks under his toes.  

And like he’s drowning (still not literally), right? So he needs something to hold onto? Right? At least that is what Louis tells himself as his hand part through the water and lands on the jut of Harry’s hips. Harry audibly gasps and then he’s moving closer. And-

No.

Maybe Louis should retract his hand, maybe he should swim back to shore, forget about glistening chests and haloed boys. Instead, the best logic in his head seems to be to pull Harry just a little closer. Just a smidge.

Harry’s reaction is not as bad as Louis was guessing it would be. His eyes are lit up and he’s got his bottom lip between his teeth as he looks at Louis through his eyelashes. Louis’ lungs fill with water, metaphorically. He holds in a breath and tries not to psych himself out, then he’s applying the slightest amount of pressure through his thumb. Harry’s eyelashes flutter beautifully, and yeah Louis’ gone. He’s going to- uh…

He’s going to punch Niall Horan in the face. Who thinks it the perfect time to cannonball into the water with a warrior cry, leaving Harry and Louis splashed in his wake. The shock of the splash has the two boys jumping away from each other like they’ve been burned. Louis’ hand itches to touch Harry again. Must be something in the water?

He mentally shakes himself, spares one more look at Harry who’s smiling at him shyly. Louis does not hesitate to grin back before he’s declaring war on Niall. And that is how the infamous Splash War at Hall Cross Academy’s Class of 2011 Reunion begins.

It doesn’t take much time before Niall’s waving an imaginary white flag and surrendering once Harry and Louis decide to gang up on him. Luckily no one drowns and there are no more heated moments between two ex-boyfriends, so Louis can say it was a fair win if he’s honest.

The three boys eventually get out of the water after Louis announces he can’t stand pruney fingers and cleanly dodges Niall’s attempt at jumping on his back.

“Get us some towels won’t you, Malik?”

“Sure,” Zayn turns so he’s facing Liam, whom he is currently sitting between the legs of with his back pressed against Liam’s chest. “Babe can you get them some towels, please”

Liam blinks once, twice. His eyebrows furrow and then in a very practiced, patient voice he says “Zayn, you’re sitting on me wouldn’t it be more logical if you got the-”

Zayn must have fluttered his eyelashes at him or done something. Seeing as Liam promptly slips from behind Zayn and starts his search for towels, not before smacking a kiss to Zayn’s temple of course. Louis cringes at their annoying couple antics.    

Harry whistles lowly. “Zayn, see you’ve got him in shape yeah?” Harry plops down next to Zayn, who just shrugs and sends Louis a grin. Louis knows how, for lack of better word, whipped Liam is. Liam would probably jump off a cliff if Zayn asked him to. They’re so hopelessly devoted to one another it makes Louis queasy. And jealous. But mostly queasy.

Liam returns shortly with towels and info that a bunch of people have started making smores and that he wants in. Niall jumps from where he had laid down on the shore, face down, and whoops. He snatches a towel from Liam's arms, wraps it around himself like a cape, and runs in the direction Liam had come from. Liam just shakes his head at the boy’s antics, already used to it seeing as Louis acts very similarly on a regular basis.

Liam helps Zayn up and they start walking up the path, wrapped up in their own little world.

“They’re sweet. I’m happy Zayn has someone like that,” Louis turns to Harry’s who’s still on the ground, towel wrapped around his head and shirt clingy wetly to his hastily dried skin.

“You look ridiculous,” Louis can’t stop it from coming out of his mouth. But it’s true Harry looks like one of those phony fortune tellers you’d find at a circus or something. Harry lets out a “heeeeeey,” and then he’s standing up and patting dirt off the bottom of his shorts.

“I look cool, hip, in-the-now.”

“Sure. But, you are right they are sweet, Zayn and Liam. Disgustingly, toothache-inducingly sweet.” Louis wraps his own towel around his shoulders and toes his half soaked vans on.

“Wanna go make smores and burn our tongues on melted marshmallow?” Harry asks as he bends down to gather up his equally wet boots. Louis does not stare at his bum. Okay, Louis tries not to stare at his bum.

Unfortunately making marshmallows isn’t at the top of his list of Things To Do When I Smell Like Murky Lake Water. “As lovely as that sounds, I was actually going to head up to the cabin and rinse off this lake smell.”

Harry visibly deflates but no less than a second passes before he claps his hands and says, “You’re right might as well rinse off myself. Mind if I join you?”

Louis knows he means to the cabin and not in the actual shower. Louis knows this. It doesn’t stop him from thinking of a naked Harry under a spray and lathered in soap suds. He clears his throat before responding,

“No, don’t see why not.”

The walk up to the cabin is shared in companionable silence, and Louis tries to ignore the stirring in his stomach. Maybe he should have had some smores beforehand. Or maybe he should just calm the fuck down and stop noticing every time Harry’s arm brushes up against his.

They enter and set about preparing their _separate_ showers. There are two bathrooms in the whole cabin and Louis picks the one closest to the room in which the five of them slept in last night. He shoots Harry a quick smile before he’s stepping back into his bathroom, fresh towel and clothes in hand.

He’s quick in rinsing off. Freely using the bar of soap Liam had packed them, “just in case, you never know when you’ll need a good soaping.” Louis rolls his eyes at his friend’s mother hen syndrome. Then, Louis feels kind of gross thinking of Liam while he’s in the shower. Right. Grocery list, ink changes for Greg at the publishing company, boobs, David Beckham’s ass. That last one diverts Louis’ attempts at changing the subject in his mind to something- else.

_Don’t think of Harry, don’t think of Harry’s ass, don’t think of Harry’s ass, don’t think of Harry’s ass or lips or arms or chest or tattoos, don’t-_

He thinks of Harry’s ass.

Nope. No. Louis refuses to get a boner in the shower. Not over Harry, his teenage self’s school sweetheart. No.

Louis turns the shower handle all the way to the red side and rubs his hands down his chest and arms, wiping away any last traces of soap. He yelps as the water suddenly turns scorching hot and almost breaks the knob off turning it so fast. The spray of water cuts off and Louis presses the heels of his hands into his eyes before he chances a glance down. It’s an all clear, no awkward boners over Harry to deal with. Everything is fine.

He walks back to the room from last night to stuff his wet clothes into his backpack, and upon pushing the door open he feels his stomach, and heart, and possibly every single one of his internal organs fall out of his ass.

Standing in the middle of the room, turned away from, is a stark naked Harry Styles slipping into his pants. Louis has no idea what to do. Or he actually has no idea what he is capable of doing right now, seeing as the logical reaction to this would be to close the door and slip as far away as possible from Harry and his naked body. Louis eventually finds his motor skills coming back to him and begins moving backwards. His foot somehow gets caught in thin air and he’s toppling down, arm flinging out to try to latch on to the first thing it can grasp. It happens to be the door knob, and then the door is toppling down with him. Everything is no longer fine.

Honestly, how many times is Louis going to have a near-death experience on this trip. Fate is either trying to tell him that his life is going to go to shit, or that he should stay away from camping grounds and train stations.

He hears footsteps bounding up to him and then the weight of a wooden door is being lifted of his being. At least this time he doesn’t think he’s that injured, nothing stings too sharply. Maybe his elbow and arse, though. He’s groaning as Harry’s face comes into view.

“Louis, oh my god are you all right” _No_ , Louis thinks. He is not all right, he is going to die.

He feels wet droplets falling onto his face and the scent of soap and Harry is so strong suddenly, then the world decides to tilt on its axis, finally Louis is being gently deposited on a bed.

“Lou, are you ok? Can you hear me?” Harry sounds frantic and he moves a hand to run through Louis’ hair and sort of cradle Louis’ head. It feels really nice, so nice that Louis thinks it would be great to maybe take a nap right now. Just a small one. He sighs and flutters his eyes closed, leaning into Harry’s touch.

“Louis?” Harry sounds very nervous now and Louis knows he’s pulling at his bottom lip like he does whenever he's scared. Harry’s lips are so lovely. But, right he should probably ease Harry’s worried state and answer him.

“Did I just break a door?” Harry laughs relieved but doesn’t remove his hand.

“I don’t remember you being this clumsy. Last time it was always you rescuing me,” Harry rubs a thumb against Louis’ temple. Which feels incredible and causes Louis to emit a soft moan. Harry freezes at the same time Louis cracks his eyes open.

“Well, don’t stop,” Louis starts at the same time Harry goes, “Louis I-”

Harry ducks his head in a laugh and Louis absolutely does not explode with how fond he is. Louis chuckles but signals Harry to continue.

Harry inhales shakily and then raises his head to meet Louis’ eyes. The tightness in Louis’ chest gets if possible, tighter.

“Louis I just wanted to say that I had a really good time today with you, and the lads,” he adds on. Louis smiles up at him and Harry continues, “and I- I don’t know how high my chances are really, but I was wondering if we would see each other beyond this weekend or…” Louis feels his eyebrows raise on their own accord. It’s not that he’s surprised, he just hadn’t given the approximate future that concerned Harry any thought. Or he at least tried not too after the talk Zayn had given him at the train station they’d arrived to from London.

_”Just give him a chance, you never know-”_

_“No Zayn, I do know. Nothing good can come from this, me and Harry. I fucking broke his heart. He probably hates me and now he’s finally found my location and is planning to kill me once he gets the chance.” Zayn rolls his eyes and gives Louis one of his perfected unimpressed looks._

_“He doesn’t hate you, and if you would chill out for a second you’d see that he really just wants to get on your good terms again.” Louis opens and closes his mouth like a fish at that. He’s pretty sure he was the one who should try to get on the other’s good terms, not the other way around._

_“Zayn, did you not just hear me? I’m the one who broke up with him. I’m the one who should be acting overly nice and like everything is fine.” Louis stomps his foot like a bratty four year old and huffs petulantly. Zayn doesn’t flinch, Louis needs to get new friends whom he can get a useful reaction out of._

_“Then why don’t you, if you’re feeling so guilty over it.” Zayn responds like it’s the easiest thing in the world. God, he doesn’t get it. His reply dies once he spots Harry and Liam making their way back towards the other two._

“I mean I totally get it if you don’t want to. If it makes you uncomfortable or whatever, I just thought maybe we could be friends? I know you weren’t happy about me going on the trip with you guys, I never meant to-”

“Harry stop,” Louis realizes his silence had given Harry the impression that he was rejecting him. Which, no. No.

Harry snaps his jaw shut and looks at Louis with these wide, hopeful eyes. If you really thought Louis would decline Harry like that, you really need to reevaluate your impression of him, honestly. Louis sits up and causes Harry’s hand to slip from his hair, he gives himself a second to pout at the loss. Leaning against the headboard Louis reaches over and wraps a hand around Harry’s arm, hopefully coming off as reassuring and not ‘I was just contemplating kissing you silent’.

He realizes Harry is still only in just his pants, he refuses to acknowledge the flush the rushes up to his face.

“Harry, of course I want to. Plus now that Zayn’s seen you he’s probably going to force us all to hang out more often. Which I don’t find as life ending as I probably would have a few days ago.” He gives Harry’s arm a squeeze before he’s retracting his hand. Harry’s quick to stop him by wrapping his slender fingers around his wrist and just keeping them there. They grin at each other for a second and then Harry gives him a thoughtful look.

“You know, and hopefully this isn’t too early to bring this up, but I think- I think what happened back then was good?” Harry’s fingers adjust around his wrist and then he continues, “like obviously at the time it was the _worst_ thing, and I was so hurt and all. But. I think today proved that like we can still be us, whether it’s back at school, or in two different parts of the country, or even a class reunion. I don’t even think I’m making sense right now, sorry.” Harry looks down and then back up, a red tinge in his cheeks.

But, Louis _gets_ it. He does. He knows what Harry means about feeling like they can still be Louis and Harry or LouisandHarry wherever they are. He was there today, he was a first class witness to how easy and comfortable it was falling back into just being with each other. He felt it when he realized that _this was what you were missing, you idiot. Harry was what you were missing._

And he suddenly can’t remember the reason why he didn’t let Harry come to London with him. Why he didn’t give him the freedom to make that decision for himself. God, he’s such an idiot. And idiot who never fell out of love in the first place.

He’s in love with Harry. He’s still in love with Harry.

Louis might explode. Now that he’s thought it, it’s the only thing that makes sense right now. That and the feeling of Harry’s hand still wrapped around his wrist. He needs to say something before Harry thinks he’s being rejected again. He needs to say something that isn’t ‘I still love you.’ Yet, that doesn’t seem quite possible to Louis right now.

Louis opens his mouth ready to not say the four words that are racing through his mind, he’s not going to do it. He’s not-

“I still love you.” He does it.

Louis watches Harry’s face fall and he feels his heart plummet. Because, way to go Tommo, you fucked it up. He’s so pathetic, what was he thinking? It’s been six fucking years, of course the guy doesn’t still love you back. He’s ruined everything, he is a fucking idiot.

Harry lets out a small squeak and then he’s tackling Louis and knocking the breath out of him as he swoops down and kisses him.

Louis explodes.

Or he at least feels like he does. After he registers that yes Harry, his Harry, is kissing him, Louis kisses back. He’s quick to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck and pull him closer. It’s frantic and there’s too much teeth, but it’s the best kiss of Louis' life. The glide of Harry’s lips against his makes his head spin and he slips his fingers into the hairs at the nape of Harry’s neck.

Harry lets out a breathy noise that gets lost in the clashing of their mouths, it spurs Louis on and he’s swiping his tongue against the seam of Harry’s lips. Harry opens up to him readily, the first slide of their tongues has Louis knees feeling weak. He’s incredibly grateful for the bed that they’re sitting on, if not Louis would have probably melted into the carpeting by now. One of Harry’s hands moves from where it landed on the bed on either side of Louis to grip his hip and pull him that much closer.

They kiss for what feels like forever. The guilt and “I’m sorry”s pouring between, along with the want, and the need, and the “I missed you.” The tightness in Louis’ chest feels almost suffocating, but in the sweetest way that makes Louis just want more. Eventually though he needs to come up for air otherwise he’s going to pass out. He thinks he’s has enough near-death experiences for a lifetime, really.

The kiss slows down and then Harry is leaning his forehead against Louis’, eyes still closed as his lips stretch into one of the most blinding grins.

Louis reaches his hands up to hold Harry’s face between them. Leaning forward, he presses a small kiss to his cupid’s bow. He’s breathless when Harry opens his eyes and his eyes are shining with so many emotions. Love and happiness being the brightest and most captivating.

Harry wraps his arms around Louis’ frame and pulls him flush against his chest. Louis squawks at sudden manhandling before he’s being settled with his face against one of Harry’s pecs as the other boy buries his face into the curve between Louis’ neck and shoulder.

“God, Lou. I thought I’d have to pine after you for six month back in London before I ever got to do that again.”

Louis throws his head back with a laugh, “Really, just six months? Do you know me at all?’

Harry bites at his neck playfully, Louis tries (and fails) to hide his involuntary shiver. “My seduction skills have changed a bit since then. Didn’t know if they’d work on you.”

“Seduction skills? What seduction skills?” Louis teases as he moves his arms that are wrapped around Harry to grip at his hips like earlier in the lake. At his very lovely love handles.

“You don’t remember? They were a bit like this..” Harry’s words gets muffled as he begins kissing up the side of Louis’ neck.  Louis swallows. Next, Harry slides a hands down low on Louis’ back right above the waistband of his joggers. He tries his best not to arch into the heat of Harry’s large hands, they almost cover Louis’ whole back.

Harry’s mouth reaches just behind Louis’ ear and Louis knows what’s coming before it even happens. Harry lets his hot breath fan out against Louis’ skin before he leans in and sucks. Louis doesn’t- can’t stop the moan from falling past his lips. Harry nibbles on the skin before letting up with one more wet kiss to the specific part and leaning back.

Harry opens his mouth to probably say something dumb, but Louis beats him too it and drags him in for another kiss. This one filled with more heat behind, more intent. Louis is scooting back until he’s got Harry crawling over him between his legs. He’s hot with it as Harry looms over him and bites at his bottom lips pulling it out a bit. He doesn’t even try to conceal his groan this time. He swallows down Harry’s responding whimpers when Louis pulls at his hair.

They’d never. Back then. Louis had though Harry was too young, never wanted to pressure him into anything. The farthest they’d gotten to was heated make out sessions on one or the other’s bed. They never actually gotten off with each other. Louis had thought about it. Of course he had, he was a teenage boy with the sweetest boy in Doncaster on his arm. He remembers more times than not waking up with reminders of what he had just dreamed of, of fucking Harry, of Harry allowing Louis to just take him.

Harry pulls back with a wet pop of their lips. Louis’ chest heaves as he looks onto Harry’s hungry gaze, the greens in his eyes almost gone.

“Can I suck you?”

Louis chokes on his breath. Fuck.

“I’ve always wanted to-” Harry cuts off into a moan as he pushes his face into Louis’ chest. His breath leaves hot moisture around Louis’ left pec, Louis can’t help the way he arches his back up into it.

“God, yeah. Let’s. Yeah.”

Harry grins up at him and then he’s shoving his hands under Louis’ shirt and pushing it up to his armpits. Louis sits up slightly and about almost rips his shirt off. Harry shuffles back up and gives Louis a wet kiss on the mouth before he’s moving down to his collarbones.

He leaves a trail of red marks that Louis presses into with his thumb when Harry reaches the fluffs of hair that lead downwards. Harry noses along his waistband before he’s shucking Louis’ joggers and pants in one go.

Maybe they’re moving too fast. Maybe they’re not moving fast enough. Louis can’t bring it in himself to give a shit when he’s got Harry sliding down the bed to rest comfortably between Louis’ spread legs.

Harry makes a low whine at the sight of Louis’s flushed cock curving against his stomach leaving a damp spot against the soft hairs that lie there.

Harry looks up at him as he grabs Louis’ dick in one hand, coaxing a hiss out of the man at the dry slide of his palm. He bends down and give the tip a tentative lick.

Louis is not going to last. Not when he’s got Harry Styles, his Harry, kittenlicking at his cock. Harry applies the slights amount of pressure at the slit and then in one go he’s sliding half-way down Louis’ dick.

“fuck, oh fuck. Har-” Louis immediately latches his hands into Harry’s curls. Not pulling yet not pushing, just holding him. Harry breathes hard through his nose before he’s sliding down further until his nose is right up against Louis’ taunt skin.

Louis is trying so hard to stay still. He lifts his head so he can see better how his cock slides in and out of Harry’s mouth once the boy begins to bob his head. He knows he’s being loud, the moans and profanities being pushed out of him when Harry trails his tongue along a vein or when he sucks especially hard.

It’s not long before Louis is coming down Harry’s throat who ignored Louis’s warning of hair pulling, but simply moaned when the taste hit the back of his mouth. Harry’s grip tightens around Louis’ thighs and Louis is moaning out his name breathily, and thoroughly wrecked.

Harry pulls off with a loud pop and a drop of spunk runs down his chin. He quickly laps it up with a swish of his thumb.

“God, come here,” Louis groans at the sight of Harry’s puffy, red lips and pulls him up with a hand on the back of his neck.

Harry scrambles up whimpering as Louis crashes their lips in a filthy kiss. Louis moans loudly at the taste of himself on Harry, tugs on Harry’s hair trying to pull him in closer. One of Louis’ hands slides downward and tugs at Harry’s cock.

He’s so wet at the tip, so hot and heavy in his hand. Louis moves his hand up and down his shaft until Harry’s coming with a muffled whine.

Louis situates them until they’re lying side by side on the bed, coming down from the feel and taste of each other. Louis’ heart is pounding in his chest and he’s feeling so blissed out and warm and just happy. He just got sucked off by the love of his life.

The love of his fucking life.

Harry turns over to him with a ridiculous smile taking up half his face.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Louis responds grinning probably just as ridiculously back at him. “What are you smiling about?”

“Oh, nothing. Just gave Louis Tomlinson a blowjob.”

“Really, I heard he’s a right knob you know.”

“I know, he is. But I’m madly in love with him so.”

Louis turns and tackles him again, smothering his face and neck and shoulders with kisses and bites until he’s got Harry laughing so hard he shouts that he’s going to piss on Louis and the bed.

That is the exact position Zayn finds them a little while later.

“Oi, what the fuck, where’s the door?” Louis and Harry freeze before they’re scrambling to cover their bits with pillows breathlessly laughing. Zayn stops in the doorway, he doesn’t move for about two whole minutes. Louis and Harry have the decency to look abashed.

“Liam!” Zayn calls not looking away from Louis and Harry. “NIall, get in here immediately!”  

The two boys come bounding in and then they’re stopping short right behind Zayn. The fives boys sort of just stare at each other for a while.

Louis breaks the silence with a small squeak of, “surprise!”

That seems to break the ice and then Niall’s laughing hysterically and clapping his hands like a sea lion. Zayn is soon joining in, and then Liam, and finally Louis and Harry who look at each other and shrug.

“Took you idiots long enough, god’s sake.”

“Six years if I counted correctly.”

“Did you guys just fuck in a rented cabin?”

“Yes, Liam. If you have a problem with that you can get out of this rented cabin immediately.” Louis shoots back, it makes Zayn wrap an arm around Liam protectively. But then he’s smiling up at Louis with a soft ‘congrats you moran’ look on his face. Louis smiles back at him as he lays his head against Harry’s shoulder and sighs contently.

“Anyway, the reason we came back is to tell you both that Perrie’s started kicking people out and we have a train to catch in less than two hours.” And with that the three boys are retreating out of the room to let Louis and Harry get decent.

Louis can see the orange glow of the afternoon sun peeking through the window blinds. And as the sun washes the day in a burning haze once more, Louis reaches over for Harry’s hand and intertwines their fingers like vines.

_This is all right._

He leans over and brings Harry’s lips in a blazing kiss, brighter than the sun itself.

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
> tumblr:loudloudandloud


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